My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
