My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
