cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
