I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize