I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
