do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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