Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Drake has all the answers
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
