I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Randomize
