i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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