I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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