Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
