Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
