Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
