and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
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