Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
