do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Randomize
