He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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