I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
These tits shall not be calmed
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
