I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize