His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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