Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
