Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
