Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
