i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
