if you like me you must not know who I am
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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