Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Randomize
