So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
