I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
