You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize