If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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