perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
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