As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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