you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
