Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
