people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Enjoy the penises
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
