I swear god or herbie drove my car home
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
