There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
