bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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