I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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