No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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