My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
