Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
