I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
accomplished twins. life is a go
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize