In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Randomize
