Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Terrible idea I love it
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
