I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Randomize
