it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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