we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize