Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
