are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
