weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
