Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
