So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
