Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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