Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
do herpes really smell.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
