Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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