using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
