Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Randomize